Your Survival Guide for the Car Ride

 By; Jamie Perillo, LPC


Traveling with kids, especially long drives during the summer season, can be an adventure. Here are some tips to help you travel with ease and enjoy the ride.

1.     Give each child (mom and dad too) a throw away camera, journal, and photo book. During your car ride and vacation they can use their creativity and log their favorite moments.

2.       Pack a survival car kit for you and your kids. Essentials are extra headphones, batteries, Aspirin, Dramamine, Band-Aids, and any necessary medications. Then pack the “Fun” items such as a new DVD (I do not typically recommend watching DVDs in the car UNLESS it is a long car trip), travel games,  books, and special snacks. These can be thrown out throughout the trip as extra “surprises.”

3.       Use your “Fun” items for rewards. When everyone is sharing and keeping hands and feet to themselves they earn  a travel game.

4.       Spend time before the trip reserving CD’s from the library so each child can make their own vacation play list or CD for the trip.

5.       For long trips try book on CD.

6.       During travel breaks designate one child to be the leader for post drive stretching. Take turns.

 Don’t forget to make frequent stops and most importantly enjoy the ride!

What travel strategies do you use? We'd love to hear from you!

What are you feeling today?

 Help Your Child Communicate Their Feelings Effectively. Try Greco's Feeling Faces.

By: Jamie Perillo, LPC

    Has your child walked in the door from school looking withdrawn but unable to express their feelings? Did they have a terrible meltdown but cannot tell you why? Try using our tool, Greco's Feeling Faces, to help your child express their feelings and communicate  effectively.

     Show your child the chart and ask them to point to their feeling for today. If you are discussing an incident that happened earlier have your child think about their feeling in that moment and point to it. This strategy can create a starting point for conversation, have your child feel understood, and for you to understand your child.

     When using Greco's Feeling Faces do not forget to validate your child's feelings. Also, discuss a plan for what to do when your child is experiencing the feeling.

Examples, "When you feel nervous take five deep breaths."
                 " If you are scared tell Mom or Dad."
                  "When you are angry because a friend called you  a name in school tell the teacher."

Greco's Feeling Faces will be available soon for free download on our website. Check back soon!

             

Talking To Your Child About Natural Disasters

Talking To Your Child About Natural Disasters

1. Explore your child's thoughts. If they ask a question inquire further. Find out what they know and how they feel about it. Don't assume and remember children have great imaginations.

 

2. Validate their feelings. For example, "That is a scary thought." This will encourage your child to talk to you in the future about their feelings and let them know it's okay to have these feelings. Statements like "don't feel scared" do not stop a child from having fears - that is about you not them.

3. Remind your child you, their family and friends, and teachers work hard to keep them safe. Discuss your family's safety plans should a natural disaster occur. Show your child you are prepared. Remember to speak calmly. For example, "Parents and schools have plans to keep kids safe."

4. If appropriate get concrete with your information. For example, "Mom has lived here for 30 years which is 10950 days and we have never had an earthquake in all those days." If you have experienced a natural disaster such as a hurricane remind your child of the number of days a hurricane did not occur. Additionally, and importantly, count all of the people your child knows that had experienced the disaster and are okay and safe.

 

6. Make explanations simple.

 

6. Offer a way for your child to help such as gathering clothes or food to send to those in need - or offer a volunteer experience close to home where your child can feel helpful. This gives them a sense of control. Volunteering helps reduce anxiety as well.

7. If your family was significantly affected by a natural disaster it is helpful to seek additional support through a therapist or school counselor for your child and your family.

How To Talk To Your Child About Preparing For A Hurricane

How To Talk To Your Child About Preparing For A Hurricane 

     As Sandy is approaching the East Coast many parents are trying to prepare their children for the storm. Here are a few tips for talking to your child in preparation for a Hurricane.

1. Explain the situation in simple and non-threatening words. For example, " Mommy and Daddy are buying flashlights and water for a  hurricane or storm. This means there might be loud rain, maybe some thunder, and wind. Sometimes the wind can be loud and make the lights go out but you are safe."

2. Always remind your child they are safe. Discuss how you are going to keep them physically and emotionally safe.

3. Physical safety: Remind your child you are prepared and the home is secure.  For example, discuss how you bought plenty of flashlights, batteries, water, and snacks in case you lose electricity. Show them you have charged your phone and help your child charge theirs if they have one. Show your child where all emergency phone numbers are kept and review  your family's emergency plan.

4. In case of an evacuation: If you are informed to evacuate simply explain to your child you are leaving your home because there might be strong wind and a lot of rain. Remind them it is a precaution - like having a "snow day" from school - to help keep everyone safe. Help your child pack some comfort items to bring with you.

5. Emotional safety: Make a plan with your child in case they get nervous. Remind them the noise can be scary but they are safe at home. Discuss what they will do if they are nervous. For example your child can talk to you, use play dough or a stress ball, hug their comfort item, listen to their Ipod or use noise canceling head phones to help decrease noise.

6. Prepare some games and toys in case you lose electricity. Crayons, coloring books, cards, DVDs (if you have access to a portable DVD player or laptop), favorite stuffed animal or blanket.
 
7. Keep calm and keep the news to a minimum in front of your child. If you appear calm and prepared your child will feel secure and less anxious.

The Feelings Thermometer: How to Help Your Child Communicate Their Feelings
    

     Do you wonder what your child is feeling when they are unable to express themselves?  "The Feelings Thermometer" is a simple tool to support your child to express their feelings.
   
    Using The Feelings Thermometer is simple. Our thermometer is based on a 1-10 scale. 10 represents the "hot thoughts" - the highest degree of  feeling. The thermometer can be used for any feeling -  nervousness, anger, sadness, loneliness, embarrassment, and happiness.
    
    When using the thermometer I recommend
1. Exploring the emotion and degree to which they are experiencing their emotion.
2  Validating their feelings.
3. Discuss coping tools and strategies to deal with their emotions.
4. Praise! Praise your child for their efforts in expressing their feelings with you.

     I recently used the Feelings Thermometer with a group of youngsters participating in a support group for children with food allergies. They loved coloring their thermometer and were excited to share their feelings with the group. The thermometer was a fun, non-threatening tool to help the group safely discuss their worries.

     Two photos are attached. Check in soon with our website, www.inspiredfamilies.com for free printables of The Feelings Thermometer. 

Family Vision Board

                                                        FAMILY VISION BOARD

     A great way to explore your family’s goals, values, and desires is to create a family collage or vision board. Grab some magazines, crayons, and glue. Ask each person to find photos and words that represent your family, personal or family goals, or an activity you wish to experience together. Once you collect your pictures and words, create a collage. Hang it where your family will see it daily - it serves as a reminder of your CORE values and goals and will be a motivator to help you achieve them.

    

    A family who completed this activity told me their child put a horse on their vision board. A horse was not an option; however it led to the child receiving horseback riding lessons which later turned into a regular family activity. 

    

     Another family expressed a desire for a family vacation – something they had been unable to do in several years. The vision board prompted family members to discuss a plan to work together and save for a vacation. By the end of the year they accomplished their goal! The board became a way for the family to bond and work together.

    

     The vision board is a nice activity to do with the start of the school year and fall activities.  What are your family’s goals and desires this fall?

How to Talk to Your Child About Natural Disasters

How to Talk to Your Child About Natural Disasters

1. Explore your child's thoughts. If they ask a question on a recent event inquire further. Find out what they know and how they feel about it. Don't assume.

2. Validate their feelings. For example, " I can see that you feel scared.”This will encourage your child to talk to you in the future about their feelings and let them know it's okay to have these feelings. Statements like "don't feel scared" do not stop a child from having fears - that is about you not them.

3. Follow up with a reason why they do not need to feel scared, such as "Parents and schools have plans to keep kids safe, it rarely happens here."

4. If appropriate it is helpful to get concrete. For example, "Mom has lived here for 30 years which is 10950 days and we have never had an earthquake in all those days."

5. Keep explanations simple.

6. Offer a way for your child to help such as gathering clothes or food to send to those in need - or offer a volunteer experience close to home where your child can feel helpful.